If you're looking for a vehicle for your Church group or to take the kids to soccer practice, this is probably NOT the vehicle for you.
If you want a time capsule straight from the 70's that makes people smile and blows peoples minds, take a look at this wild classic 70's Show Van.
This is the "SLAYER" Van.
I picked this crazy Van up a year or two when the original owner/builder died. It's in pretty good 'survivor' shape, but it's a 37 year old vehicle. It's needs some work to be a show van, but it's a fun driver. I lost my storage and rather than have it sit outside I've decided to put it up for sale.
THE BASICS- it's got a 350 Chevy engine. I've probably put less than 200 miles on it since I've had it but I replaced the alternator, water pump, fuel pump, and master cylinder. Someone replaced the carb and battery just before I bought it. It seems to be good mechanically and runs and stops fine. The odometer's showing around 25k, I'd guess that's 125k but don't know for sure as it's exempt. It has an automatic trans with a Hurst shifter. The engine has headers, probably from when it was originally built. The engine has 2 filters and a remote trans filter. The suspension has some sort of extra air shocks and what looks like a really heavy duty suspension all around. It was built right back in the days when the weekend Truck-ins and Van Shows were all the rage.
THE EXTERIOR- Wow. Where to start? This thing is covered in crazy murals all over. I'll try to tell my interpretation of the scene beginning at the Driver's side front fender (follow along in the pics if you're so inclined).
1.) Some sort of Alien is hatching out of a pile of fish-egg looking stuff. This alien zaps rocks and turns them into living Rock People.
2.) The newly formed Rock People are ordered into action by an ugly green Rock Hausfrau. Thankfully, the artist had the common sense to paint a dress on her.
3.) Along the way, the Rock People seem to evolve a little more and dabble in assault and cannibalism. This is the 'KFC scene'. I'm guessing that the original builder might have asked the artist to add the KFC bucket to cover up the dead guy's junk? No one wants to see dead caveman wiener on a Van. Either way, the cannibal Caveman is eating his friend and for some reason there's a KFC bucket.
4.) From this craziness, one of the semi-evolved Rock Cavemen gets his hands on a Dinosaur with strange 6-pack abs on his back. He rides it up the hill to attack the "Slayer", a very evolved early man who carries a gold-leaf sword and scores all the naked Cavewomen. The naked Cavewomen are appropriately terrified of the attack.
5.) The next 3 photos or so are details of this scene. Aside from the gold leaf sword, the word 'Slayer' is also gold leaf. Notice the bubbles lead to the small bubble window.
* -Intermission- *
6.) The next 2 photos are the back of the Van. The spare tire mural doesn't really fit with the story, if there even is one. It's "Slayer" partying with the naked chicks in front of some Castle. The one chick has a really long torso and a pretty big booty for a Cavewoman.
* -Side two- *
7.) We continue with our story- The next 3 photos show the aftermath of 'Slayer's' confrontation with the Ab Dinosaur. The Dinosaur is beheaded. He's Slayed. The Rock Caveman dude is knocked off. The Cavewomen are in shock and awe. Lightning comes from the bubble and strikes the gold leaf sword. Other stuff is undoubtedly going on that can only be understood with the right amount of 1970's era recreational drugs.
* Now we're up to the photo with the Z in the brown/white divide in the paint if you're following along*
8.) The Cave People seem to be continuing to evolve into some sort of Caveman Hillbillies. They're no longer eating each other. They're wearing clothing and have a keg. They go from clubbing each other to dancing. There's a giant cobra and I have no damned idea what it has to do with anything.
10.) The Cavemen Hillbillies seem to have discovered drugs and one is snorting some white stuff off of a rock while is friend is passed out. There's a pile of Alien Eggs behind them and it looks like the whole Alien/Rock/Caveman/Hillbilly/Slayer is set to start all over again. (Note- this is just my interpretation of these wacky murals- I don't know who originally painted them 'back in the day')
THE INTERIOR- The interior's a basic camping setup with 4 captains chairs up front, a bench in the back, and a stove and sink. Wood paneling. The stove and sink are disconnected and completely untested. It has an octagon shaped steering wheel and a new CD player. The Van has a split sunroof in front and a square vent in the back. The plastic's shrunk up on the back vent cover and it needs replaced. The original carpet is in place but it's kindof beat.
The Van has add-on power windows, the motors bolted on over the regular window cranks. The guy that built the Van had a glass company so the front windows are etched with a flowery pattern. The driver's window has the builder/owner's name at the bottom, the passenger's side says 'Do It In A Van'. Both mirrors are etched with the words "Get Slayed". There's a wood 8-track holder over the dogbox.
THE WHEELS- The original aluminum slot wheels and tires are on it. They're awesome for shows and photo ops, but won't hold up long for everyday use. I'll include a used set of Cragar mags. I was going to get tires for the Cragars and run them for everyday use.
THE BAD- As I said, I've put less than 200 miles on this Van in a year or two so it's still relatively untested mechanically (but seems to run OK). The hood is cracked at a few spots (see detail photo) and is starting to rust a little bit. At this point it's only on the white background and not effecting the murals, but it will need to be fixed and should have nice indoor storage. The slider door is tricky as with any Van with super-wide flairs. Because of people not using the right method to open it, there's a scrape mark on the rear flair where the door bottom hit. I haven't tried to touch this up. The roof is looking a little faded and would need to be painted if you're restoring this to its old Show Van glory.
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